Filed under: 二次創作
fanfic by triniwriters
what’s up? i love this fanfic…!!!
I look at you
everyday. I feel your body with my fingertips every night. I see you scowl ever
minute and your smirk every hour. I kiss when you want me to and make love to
you when you beg. I smile for you when I’m happy and I smile even wider when I’m
sad. I try my very hardest, Sasuke, you know I do. You said that given time, I
can learn to love you like you do, but I can’t.
I can’t love
you, not like that. I love you like a friend and a brother, but not as a lover.
You will always have a place in my heart. Whenever you need me, I’ll be here
and waiting. You snuggle closer to me; your arms are wrapped around my waist in
a protective embrace. I sigh and look down at you pale, sleeping face. You look
so innocent and vulnerable in this state. A state you have only allowed me to
see. You save all your smiles for me alone, even all your laughter and tears. I
wish with all my heart and soul and with every fiber of my being, that I can
return your love for me.
When we are in
bed together, I let you control our love making. You kiss and bite and scratch
and suck and I let you. I feel guilty that you love me so much and I can never
feel the same. I pretend that I love you that way, because not only does it
satisfy you, but it gives me a sense of peace. I know that I may never get a
chance to show my feelings to the one I really desire. Everyone knows about our
‘relationship’. I saw the sadness and disappointment flicker quickly through
her pale eyes and then a sense of understanding. I gave up everything for your
happiness, Sasuke and honestly I don’t know why. Maybe it was because it was
the first time I ever saw tears in your obsidian eyes and heard pleas roll off
your tongue. I felt my heart break and shatter in a million pieces when I saw
you like that.
Secretly, I
would have preferred your stoic attitude and nonchalant gaze. Emotion coming
from you just makes me feel even guiltier and I’m sorry. That’s all I could say
these days, I’m sorry. When I can’t love you enough, “I’m sorry.”
When it seems as
though I hurt you, “I’m sorry.”
When I can’t
make you smile, “I’m sorry.”
Those words help
me alleviate the pent up grief inside and the endless guilt that weighs heavy
on my mind every day.
You kiss my
temple in your sleep and mumble, “I love you, Naru.” The guilt just eats me up
even more, and if you wanted to kill me, I would let you. My dear Sasuke, what
I feel for you isn’t a lover’s love, but an overwhelming sense of guilt, and
there’s no hope that it’ll ever go away.
